In Which I Write a Disclaimer

I don't know what this is, and it is quite possible that I may never know. This is the truth, and I have chosen to start whatever this is with complete honesty for the following reasons:

1. I tend to lie when under pressure.

And I wouldn't necessarily call it lying-- expanding on the truth with slight touches of imagination, perhaps. And I wouldn't necessarily call this "pressure," but it is something public and I firmly believe there is an overlooked risk in public expression. With things like blogs and online journals, writing easily becomes diluted down to writing for the public, all thought and opinion censored and stripped of raw honesty. It's easier to elaborate on existing truths than to let them speak for themselves. I slip into this habit often, though not proudly. For once, it might be nice to have a little honesty.

2. I am writing for myself.

I figured that, in light of current circumstances, I should attempt (yet again) to do this as consistently and comprehensively as possible. It is really nothing more than another desperate attempt to begin more admirable habits and end unnecessary ones. I will make no promises and adhere to no expectations. This is what I choose to make it, and if it refuses to extend beyond this solitary post, then so be it. But, for my own sake, let's hope it can break past those recurring insecurities and potent bouts of laziness. Let me stretch out these stiffened muscles and brush the dust off old practices. Somewhere beneath the layers of time and the clutter of fearful hesitation, there is a voice that has something to say.

So here I am trying to find it.